Paneer

I am sitting on a restaurant table expectantly for my order.Paneer Biryani.Paneer Butter Masala.Paneer Tikka to arrive. The last time I ate a full Paneer meal was two months ago.

I get a separate invitation card to every wedding on my locality. It validates to my family that I am  good. I am given the opening dance in every ceremonial procession.

I am good at breakdance and bollywood.I know all the hindi film songs by heart and win over the group I am in. But I get to eat paneer occasionally.

My father is a travel agent cum tour guide and a failed wrestler.

The family ran into loans to free my father from a criminal case which he got embroiled into.

He was behind bars for two and half years and the lawyers and cops scavenged us ,left us with little money and limited food.Paneer was out of question.

My father ‘s sister stays with us. She was thrown out by her husband and I share my room with her. She sleeps on the floor and I on the wooden cot. While she would be in solace to have a safe haven now I dream about a full meal of Paneer items.

I am a vegetarian and so my options of favorites’ borders between Mushrooms and Paneer.Both are costly for a family with limited resources.

I don’t demand any food item from my mother. Food for me is more than a need of the tummy.

I am a free style wrestler .I have been sent by state to nationals and got eliminated in the semi finals. The co participants praised my performance and some from Punjab wanted me to stay back with them to practice. I had responsibilities so had to return. The loans of my family have to be repaid. Better diet equals to better chance to win.

My only sister had a love marriage. My brother in law lost his arm in a fire and so the family cannot look towards them for any support. She eloped and got married so we had no celebration.No paneer.

I am in final year of my graduation and would be the first in my family. May be even in my locality. My daily food allowance is ten rupees. If I could eat better, my performance both in college and the ring would be better. And my favourite food item is….

The young boys in my locality envy me as no one has reached beyond class five and have no occupation to talk about.They will find ways to bring discomfort to me including gulping down the biggest paneer pakoda while I nibble my soggy slurpy vada at the neighbourhood food stall.

I have a phone which I saved up and bought. It opened my world as I can use the internet. I have made many friends in foreign countries. Some of them ask me to visit them, go and work in their country. I am allured but besides the attachment of my family, I wonder will I get my choicest Paneer. How our association becomes our being.

It has taken me only that many years to figure that for a song in ones heart,one can be happy with small joys of anticipating the good to arrive, and the saliva coming in full gusto tells me I am not too far away…the kitchen door opens and makes way for the aroma.My paneer biryani with its accomplices is on its way….

I am sitting on a restaurant table expectantly for my order.